Purpose.

The purpose of putting myself out there. Someone asked me this that made me think: what is the purpose of my blogs? Am I doing a Sumiko Tan - or could I be misunderstood to be doing a Sumiko Tan? - because, well - what is the purpose of this blog?

I said, perhaps, to help others? For those who may have been through the situations I'd been through, done stupid things I'd done? Perhaps it's cathartic reading the words? Could it help them, too, especially those who are new at life, like how I was new at life?

The next question was then, why do you need to help others?

It was expressed that that friend cringed when she read my very personal posts, the ones about my past and history. With what, I am unclear. Perhaps she did not want to offend or embarrass me, to me. She did say with a tinge of regret, like someone who loved me but couldn't stop me from making a fool out of myself, "you really don't have to do this."

She felt I needed help, and told me so.

I know I don't need help, but regardless: I asked my mentor, one who's always been cool calm and ruthlessly collected - "am I being stupid?"

He told me that my writing's very raw and honest, that he knew me and thus can relate... but those who don't, won't.



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I've thought of these. I've thought of these questions why I shouldn't write these things on a very public platform, to people I don't know. The very same anonymous people who could use my words, my experiences against me. Call me an attention-seeker - troll me cruelly.

I know there are people who will slide their knives where my armour's thin.

Believe me, I'm as scared as the next person. I've thought through the possibility of the gentlemen who, while attracted, may find this very blogsite a deterrent. Will their names be mentioned? The things I put here - the resume of my life, displayed right here -

But... but if I were to find someone, shouldn't he like and love me for who I am? Shouldn't he accept me, my single eyelids, smart mouth, whiskey love and my being poker-adventurous? Shouldn't my friends -



Nobody shouldn't nothing.



Action, regardless of reason, brings with it consequences. You eat something stupid, you pay for it coming out.

...the bible says, "A beautiful woman without discretion is like a pig with a gold ring on its snout." (Proverbs 11:22)

The definition of "discretion"?

dis·cre·tion/disˈkreSHən/

Noun:

The quality of behaving or speaking in such a way as to avoid causing offense or revealing private information. The freedom to decide what should be done in a particular situation.

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So I asked God what he thought of my personal pieces. He said, a little like my mentor friend, "I love you regardless," saying nothing about what I'd written.

And suddenly I understood.

Who am I arguing against? Prudence.


I know the right friends will like me. The right chap will accept me, my cheekiness, funny toes and all - blogsite included. Rejoice when I become more suited to him - but right now I argue against prudence. Perhaps even good sense.

"The prudent sees the evil and hides himself, But the naive go on, and are punished for it." - Proverbs 22:3. This is when I need to heed wisdom - I'd already missed it when I was momentarily too obtuse - but I pray that when wisdom calls (twice, in my case), you too will take heed.

Thus... to those who were gentle, thank you.

And you who weren't - here, have some water, and some food.

May the sauce be with you.