Complicated Confidences.

Have you ever been on a blind date?

I have, last night.

Thoughts jogged lazily through my mind when I was getting ready: what if I didn't like him? Will I get teased for it? What if he didn't like me?

- but that's impossible. Who wouldn't like Loren at the outset? If anything it's when they know me better. Then they discover they love me.

I brushed my confidence aside, determined to learn something from this day. I got dressed, like how one should dress for a date: pretty, but conservative. Which is to say: wrapped up, with frills.

I'm kidding. I didn't dress like a lacy burrito, I wore a blue shirt-dress.

So I walked through the rain under my little brolly and met him. He was... tall. Gentlemanly, none of the edge that got my tongue in a twist. He looked the type to write proposals and have them submitted to the government. In short: civil servant. which was fitting, considering he is one.

...I thought I might scare him off during dinner with my slightly badass personality and raw good looks - but he seemed to take it well.

The evening got better when I suggested something irreverent like DotA - Defence of the Ancients - a bit of a friendly competition. I thought he would be an equal, with his reasonable, soft-spoken ways -

Boy was I wrong!

He probably could have taken on the whole game himself, despite his image. I was duly impressed, since gaming also reveals a person's strategic quickness, the ability to take in the overview and attack or retreat accordingly. What I'm interested in finding out next is how he'd fare in social strategy, for lack of a less aggressive expression.

(Yes, everyone needs a hobby. Mine is to admire another's intellectual beauty)

Thus the evening ended, and my very civil date presented me with a rose. I was delighted! I wanted to tell... I wanted to tell my friend. That one I had my mind on since Saturday, and I was sad for a while.

Is our friendship lost, had I spoilt it? Is this the lesson I have to learn? Perhaps it's best to continue to turn a blind eye to attraction in the future?

I can't tell right now, but I'm determined to enjoy the picnic I made mashed potatoes for. I'm sure the remainder of today will be great.