Dealing with Singlehood

Ever feel like an emonati - a secretly emo society? Well, don't. image from sinfest.net

How do you deal with singlehood? Are you concerned that you'll have to "deal with" something like this?

Here's a secret, are you ready?  - don't. Don't deal with it.


Here's why.

Well, do you worry about the areas you're most blessed in? You don't, do you? Because you know you'll never be in want regarding that particular area, isn't it? Also, it'll come. As you grow, mellow, it comes.

And while you're "waiting", why not have a good time? You wouldn't want to be grouchy - or worse, needy - when That Special Someone finally turns up.


If you're unhappy with singlehood - then, with utmost delicacy, may I suggest that it is something internal? Especially if different people in different settings inadvertently turn out "the same" - that's a blindspot, isn't it? Nobody really needs someone else. You need air, water and food, but you don't need another person (if you really do need another person for day-to-day expenses, click here).

Sure, people feel lonely, yearn for the delightful feeling of having that special someone who will "make it all alright" despite the external wars and tsunamis - but if you're unhappy to start with (not saying you're unhappy, or dissatisfied, here) - then no man or woman or soulmate will be able to keep you get out of your moody funks.

I know I'd been in that state before - thinking I need a strong someone who will be gentle, caring, patient - and everything will be a-okay. I was looking for a prince, a handsome someone to accept all my foibles and my short-comings and provide the support that I so needed, hold me when I'm crying, be my security and to be a fountain of happiness.

Guess what happened next?

Not everybody is a prince, and the way I was behaving? Certainly not a princess; more like - damaged brat. Definitely not someone that attracts princes.

I do know, however, that it takes two to play ball, be it friendship, marriage, whatever manner of relationship. We do our best, for sure we do - we dress up, look into skincare, personal growth, strategise on our careers, make friends and widen our social spheres - but if that special someone doesn't come, it should still be fine. Life should still be enjoyable enough such that That Special Someone is a bonus.

Thus the ideal situation is that you should have enough on your plate to feel that you're fine just living by yourself.


Meanwhile however, enjoy the ride! For it is said - do not worry about tomorrow, tomorrow will worry about itself. And to paraphrase: a good wife comes from the big Up There... and as it goes, do no awaken love before it is ready.

Thus:

and

Peace out.